Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Monday, April 04, 2005

It seems that I've been gorging myself with chocos these few days...M&Ms to be exact...What does that indicate?? It means that I haven't been myself nowadays...Since I can't really binge on ice-creams, I've switched to chocos instead..I seriously don't know what's wrong.....Or do I?? Do I actually know the reason?

This feeling in me just won't go away, no matter how hard I tried to force it out of me. It has been with me for nearly one long year...Hence, it ain't really easy to just pour water over the flame, right? When everything else is almost settled, or rather already settled, there's still one thing that keeps bugging me. This thing is always on my mind. Am trying hard to find solutions to sort of dissolve the residue...Now, why am I talking in science terms?? Lols..Oh well, get back to what I was talking. I haven't been able to find ways to solve what's happening..

I wonder, why I can easily find ways to solve other ppl's probs or help them with their probs when I myself am having such an arduous time with my own probs. It seems that their probs could easily be solved, be it family, friends or even relationships. But not me. Well, basically it's because they're not facing what I'm facing. Each ppl faces different probs. Mine's kinda confusing...It's been so many months..Yet, nothing has been done. Who's really at fault, I have no idea. Am I being hard-headed or the other party is?? Is this what ego is all about?? Oh man...But I'm not being ego here ain't it..I tried doing all I could, but there's just no response.

It's already April. APRIL. APRIL. I remembered..This was the month where it all began. Will it ever continue? Or will there be an ending to this chronicle of mine? No matter how bad I don't want it to cease, every story has a conclusion somehow, ain't it? Even histories has their desistance. How am I suppose to make a narration goes on and on?? I am feeling so solitary.
I just miss everything which I ever did before. It insinuates that ever since this thingy happened to me, I've kinda lost the 'power' within me.

"If there's no beginning, there won't be an end". This qoute has set me thinking. No beginning, no end. If only...Have I been waiting for far too long? Have I been wasting my time? That's what ppl around me said so. But what's waiting if it's worthwhile, right? The thing is...I don't know if it will ever be worthwhile..I gotta find it out somehow and I know I will find out eventually. But when?? Tomorrow? The day after? Weeks? Months? Or Years? I really hope I could get the answer or conclusion by this month..Maybe..It's hard to say.


'There's a touch that's missing, an emptiness that I never know and it's tearing me apart'.


*OvEr aNd oUtz*



Fullstop at
11:50 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
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November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
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February 2008