Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Well, it's that time of the year again. Frankly speaking, I wasn't looking forward to this. Plus I'm kinda scared of the outcome on the first day. I just want to do things as what I planned for that first day, but I doubt the other party will be pleased with it. I don't feel like celebrating the festive day at all. It don't really hold any significance to me anymore, as of now that is.2 more months before the end of the year. That is also another issue. Things are getting tougher as the day passes by. It's extremely hard to juggle with these stuffs, twirling in my mind. Many thoughts I left unspoken. Good or bad? I just gotta let time decide.
Fullstop at
4:10 AM
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Hypocrites. They exists everywhere in the world, don't they? At home, work and even in friends and families. Sometimes, it's just hard to deal with complications, all at one go. Sometimes, even you don't realise that you are being a hypocrite towards yourself and others. Why so? I guess it's due to certain situations. I'm sorry but I know I am being such a bitch by doing that. But I can't just keep mum about it. Or rather, I cannot take it anymore. People keep coming to me about your wrongdoings and hoping that I could talk some sense in you as I'm close to you. However, I decline to do so cos I jolly well know that I will lose in that battle against you. Why fight something when you know you're gonna lose, right? At first, I just let it be. But up till now, it's getting worse, when it has started to affect me as well. You just don't act like how you should. You ever told me to differentiate between personal and work, but I guess you never reflect on it. I'm seriously sick and tired of this whole bloody thing. And so are others. Maybe yes to you, you don't even care to bother about them anymore. Let them say what they want to. No doubt, that's right. However, this thing is taking a toll on work. However much it affects me, it affects them too.Maybe you will say that I've changed due to mixing around too much with 'them'. Maybe you'll say that 'they' have influenced and wash my mind about you. Truthfully, yes they did. They opened my eyes and brains as to which is right and wrong, regarding you. Well, in fact you sarcastically mentioned that I'm always with the grown up people hence I no longer listen to you. Like hello, aren't you a grown up yourself? But how come your level of thinking is way too different? Yes, I know different people have different perceptions. You kept telling me to spare a thought for others, and hell yeah, I tried. Thinking back, did you ever spare a thought for me? You are in always in your own world. And in your world, there seems to be only you and her. Is this how things should be if you regard me as your sister, and me regarding you as a brother??I guess what another brother of mine said is true. I was blind and still am, to have survived and go along with this ridiculous ordeal. Now, you're making faces towards me and never really talk much due to the changes in schedule. Maybe to you it seems unfair. But tell me again, what does fairness really mean to you? I reckon, all in all, I have to put through these, till I find another job.Plus, do you know that it's seriously amazing to be stuck in between 2 parties? I am always bombarded with lotsa stuffs, while you, in a corner of yours and hers, will only watch, doing nothing. Yes, I don't want history to repeat itself, cos it's really not worth my time at all, but have you ever thought that what you're doing is simply too much? Arguing with you over her. That is not going to get me anywhere plus a waste of time and breath. That's the reason I gave my 'so called' grown up cliques. Hence, I'm washing my hands off this particular situation. Whatever happens, I'm just gonna let it happen. Cos that's how HE wanted it to be.
Fullstop at
3:45 PM
[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a
complicated future. Well, I guess that's how
life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.
Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
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