Thursday, September 29, 2005
And so, we'll be wearing a tie..I mean, the SCs. No longer have to wear that 'pathetic' lanyard thingy around our neck. Well, can u imagine wearing that with our shirts tucked in..My friend even said we look like factory workers!! Lols..By having that lanyard, anyone in the school can buy that and print the 'Student Councillor' tag and hang them around the neck too, right..However, things are gonna change this Monday. Was told by Mr President that we'll be each receiving our ties. Ain't that better. It looks much more smart, I would say. On the other hand, we have to wear our ties from home and we can't take it off even after school. That's the thing I hate about wearing ties. Damnation...It's gonna be hot lor..Nevertheless, shall try to endure it till I finished my education in ITE. And to Nana, I think I won't go on with what I've decided before..Will stay for you...Haha..Just for you...!! This gal really make my day..How I love her so..
Bro's back from his reservist and he's started working the other day..Was happy to see him. But pity him lah, back to work only got sooo much stuffs to do..And yeah, I'm glad the 'conflict' is already solved. Oh wells, the intention was misunderstood so yeah...Oh, my another 'Abg' is already attached and boy, is he happy about that..!! Thanks to me also hor...I was the one who helped him..But the other day when he came to work, he forget to bring my stuffs which he PROMISED to...Damn him...Was showing faces to him and being a lil sarcastic..Lols...But, all of it was merely a prank. Shall force him to bring it to work tomorrow!! I don't care..Lols..
Finished school early today as there's no S&W. The PE department teachers went for dragon-boating at Kallang. Drats!! They always tell us last min lor...Very irritating leh..We brought our attire but in the end no lesson. Haiyooo...I thought that there won't be S&W lesson during the upcoming fasting month but I thought wrong!!! There will still be S&W but it will be indoors. Hmmms...Sure it's gonna be pretty bored playing indoors but what can we do..Fasting mah..Can't be possibly jumping/running around right..I'm gonna miss playing netball again..Haiss...
1 more week to go before fasting month..Wonder how it'll be like fasting and working at the same time..I mean, well, in my working atmosphere, we gotta force and I mean really force ourself to 'tahan' till the time comes to break our fast..I'm anticipating that particular moment most..Till then, working at 6 today...Gotta take a short nap..=)
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1:25 PM
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Guess what?? I'm sick again..Just recovered from flu and fever last week and yet, I've gotten it again...This time, more worse..My nose is really hurting and it really sucks lah ok...Kept coughing at school and at work..I can't concentrate with this kinda condition. Even when doing my OA CA just now, I felt like sleeping. Was really weak..Hence, I decided to go home after that. Reached home at 10 plus, took 2 tabs of medicine and off to bed. Nana msged me but I didn't reply as I was already asleep..Sorry gal..Being unhealthy just makes me feel useless..Haiss...
Work was kinda dull without the usual peeps around except for 2 of them. Ct and 'Abg' that is...Another 'abg' of mine is busy serving the nation whereas the other one is at KL. He'll be back this sunday..Hmms..I wonder how's his thingy with 'ahem2' coming along...Lols..After work, went to Mcd to accompany Ct and Clar for their supper. The funny thing was Clar didn't know that Mcd is now open 24hrs until we told her..Haha...It's been quite some time already and yet she didn't notice it..Ct and 'abg', as usual kept 'bickering' and disturbing each other...However, when Ct was sorta 'arguing' with Clar, 'abg' became the victim in the middle of those two..I pity her lah..Wasn't in the wrong yet Clar attacked her instead of Ct. Haha...These peeps really enlightened my mind..I'm glad to have met them..
Oh yeah...The guy I told ya abt in the previous entry called me up this afternoon. A missed call that is. I was busy sleeping mah so when I woke up, I saw his number..Drats!!! I was like, what more does he want from me? Didn't I told him to just go his own way...Haisss...He seems bloody reluctant to do that..Gosh..!! Never mind, shall just wait till the end of October where certain things will change...Hopefully, by then, I'll be free...Aaanyways, by that time too..I'm legal...Yeahs..!!! HRC, here I come..Lol..
And as I'm posting this now, I'm chatting with one of my work mates about....errmms...well...about those kinda things lah...Heart, love and stuffs like that...Yeahs..So long and good night everyone..
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1:10 AM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
I'm FCUKIN PISSED......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid fcuker....Wasn't in a mood during work just now and I actually cried in my workplace's toilet then when I came home, this freakin thingy had to happen. That guy in my past, not my ex though, came back and called me up. He was using a pvt number. If I knew it was him, I wouldn't have answered!!! He just don't seem to understand my words. Dammit lah...I'm sick and tired of people playing around with my feelings and betraying my trust in them. Told him umpteen times that 'us' is not in my dictionary. 'Us' being together is just not possible. It's not that I don't want to give him a chance, but I know that we won't happy be together. Why? I don't even have any feelings for him. My feelings for him had died long long long ago..I've already told him that over and over again but still...Haiss....Last time, he was the one who initiated to break off our frienship, but he came back all of a sudden. Now, when I was the one who asked to go our own ways, he claimed that I didn't give him a chance..What the hack was he talking about!!!! Gave him lotsa chances but he was the one who didn't treasure it..Now tell me..AM I IN THE WRONG???!!!! Was I stupid so as to let a guy who love me so much go?? I've been tolerant and soft-hearted long enough...I think it's about time I 'explode' from this volcano of soft-heartedness and giving face..Enough is enough...I've held on for far too long..I can't carry on any longer...Damn..Just when my life's changing, there must be something from the past that destroys it...
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2:24 AM
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Ok, I shall update now...This Nana ah...Well, the past week has been great. I've been confirmed a spot in SC and the oath-taking ceremony will be on this Tuesday. Had countless of rehearsals, just raising up our hand, pledge the oath and be in our formation. Damn, it was really exhausting. For the whole of 2 hours or more, we were doing the same thing over and over again. So that on the actual day, everything will be right. Like what they say, 'Practice makes perfect'. Being an SC, I have to change my school lifestyle. Can no longer come late, no longer MIA from sch, no longer jay-walking and no longer 'cabut-ing' lesson. Well, not really 'cabut' lah, but at that point of time, there was no teacher relieving us for that particular lesson so yeah...I went home. Haha...But, but...I have to set my priorities straight now. Like what my seniors and teachers said, 'Being a part of SC, you have to show good example towards the students in school'. Last time, when I was a monitress in sec sch, it isn't really obvious that the whole school know that you are one. Now, it's a different thing. Why? I gotta change my uniform so as to unify with the rest of the SCs. And we'll be having a collar pin and a lanyard to show that we are a councillor. Ain't that pretty obvious?? Well, on the other side, I gained many new friends in SC. We clicked with each other so well and so easily. We are gonna be together as one afterall..Hmmms...Work's been pretty ok..Except for the fact that I haven't been talking with that particular rider. He did it again the other night. Shouted at me for no reason. Crazy fellow!! Oh yeah...I had a 'great' conversation the other night, on Tuesday if I'm not wrong, with some of the crews plus my another manager. I just can't seem to hide something from people. I guess what Khairul said abt me is true and that is I can't lie. I was tryna find a solution to my glitch so I explained to them using another person as me. But I eventually said something hence they knew the real thing. And all those words came out. Yeahs, was condemned and scolded for a lil while but things got back to normal. I know I have to change my mindset. But it ain't easy for me to do so in a split second. Moreover, there's another one who's been contacting me currently. They told me not to fall for the one at work or I'll get it from them. I've been issued a warning 'letter' and I gotta get back to my usual self if I don't wanna get 'locked up'. Damn!! This is pretty hard. I've been living with this feeling for like 1 month already. Sometimes, I just feel like doing things which I'm not supposed to do at all. Things which are forbidden in my dictionary of life, that is. Gosh...It's just freaking hard. Like one of my friends said, 'It's just a phase of life we're going through'. I've been through it and now I wanna get out of it. Cos it's just ain't me. By going through this, I'm a different person. One month more before my birthday and hopefully, I'm gonna be REALLY OK by then. Oh yeah..Fasting month's coming soon. I can't wait for it to happen. But on the other hand, that sad feeling always come back during this period of time. Yet another year of going through it without a beloved family member..Oh wells...'Help me heal this wound, they've been open for way too long'.
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2:28 PM
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Well, well, well...Expect the unexpected...The truth has finally come to light...Was dumbfounded upon knowing it..Nearly cried..Was touched on the other hand but this just can't be happening to me..!!!!! Told Mr Manager about it when I was at work yesterday..Was told that 'they' fall in love easily..Hmms..I wonder if that's true. Another thing is that they are more sensitive..Really meh?? Can one of YOU gimme your views on it?? Should I continue with that bond or be the one to break it?? Haiss....I'm falling sick right now...Having a slight fever and a very bad cough...Mr Class Advisor is doing some powerpoint thingy on his laptop and he does it, well...It's undescribable lahs...And a BIG HELLOs to Fat....HAAAARRRRRLLLLOOOOOOOssssssss!!!!! How's your soccer coming along?? *winks*
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9:31 AM
Monday, September 05, 2005
Had a good talk with Mr Manager aka Bro just now...Well, yeah, he told me all those stuffs...Have to change myself, have to tell the truth to that someone, hurt that someone now rather than later...But still, I haven't found the answer to my predicament...I'm just sooooooooo damn confused...I just don't know what to do...Well, right now, I'm smsing with that someone and that someone wants to tell me something but like so reluctant to tell me the actual thing...Is that someone gonna say the things that my gf told me last night?? Oh my...How's this?? How could this happen?? My intentions are often misunderstood....Helllppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Should I acknowledge it or not??Ok before anything else happen, I think it's better if I off my hp and go to sleep..Haha...Take care all...
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12:21 AM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Woooohoooooo!!! I passed my BZF CA test...Phewww....What a relief!!! Now, I gotta worry about my ACF CA coming up next Thursday...Sians..Cashbook just turns me off lah ok...Petty cash is not bad..But cashbook is really and I mean really damn 'ma fan' lor...So many things to enter, so many books/journals to open up..Wahlau..Waste of time man..Haha..Work was exceptionally fun today. Mr Manager was being the story-teller of the night. He told lotsa stories, well, basically about G_O_TS...Well, ya know...That thingys...He got loads of experience concerning that and after closing we were just sitting down and listening to his stories. I, however, left halfway when he was telling his 3rd story. Haha..Not that I'm being sucha chicken or what, but I need to get home asap as I was damn tired. I was feeling kinda moody too during work just now. But yeah, ya know..They thought I was scared and stuffs...Well, whatever lahs..I had another round of gastric attack again this morning..This time, the pain was excruciating. I almost felt like fainting. It hurts alot, I tell ya..Not like the usual gastric attacks I had always..This one was exceptionally painful lor..!!! Had cereal when I was back at home and that was abt 5 pm...What a 'meal' to soothen my gastric pain...Nevertheless, it did helps..Gosh, my gf just told me something unexpected. I couldn't believe that..Really...!! Now, am I just gonna avoid that particular someone?? Or continue be friends and feign ignorance?? I don't wanna hurt that someone but I seriously think it's just unimaginable...I mean..Should we really be together?? Is that the right thing to do?? I appreciate the care and concern you've given me so far even though we've just started knowing each other..I've never had someone who's as concerned and soft-hearted as you..But, I just can't imagine us being together as a couple. I'm happy as the way we are now and that is friends. Yeahs, your feelings for me may be true but I don't think I can accept you as my 'bf'. I don't despise you, pleases don't get the wrong idea..I love you as a friend too...But really...I just want us to be the way we are now...I hope you can understand my predicament...Haisss...It hurts me a lot to hurt someone else...Confusion, confusion...=(*OvEr aNd oUTz*
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1:08 AM
Thursday, September 01, 2005
*During T'cher's Day celeb..B plus G rocks, right Nana?? *winks*
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8:23 AM
*Peeps of SCs*
[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a
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Khairunnisa
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