Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Didn't go to school just now. Haha..First time in new school I absent myself. Lols...Was feeling very very sleepy and tired hence I decided to go back to sleep once the alarm went off. What a reason to absent myself from school huh...Tsk tsk..Actually, the reason being was I wasn't really in the state of mind of going to school because of a bloody talk last night..I don't know whether I'm supposed to be rejoicing over what happened or feel devastated. The only thing I know is that, I've lost yet another friend. Due to stupid or rather lame reasons, I guess..

A long talk we had last night..Discussed abt certain stuffs concerning the heart. Confused, I was. I was told by so many people to give this lad here a chance. Well, at first I thought it'll be better to stay off as friends. Yes, I'm moving on. However, does this means that I have to give anyone a chance just to heal my newly broken heart?? Hey, I took a long time to recover and I'm still on the verge of recovering even now. It's been 6 months. Ever since this lad here knew abt the breaking up thingy, he's been trying real hard for me to accept him. First rejection:'Let's just continue being friends, shall we?' And he said, 'Yeah..Ok..If that's what you want. I respect your decision'. Second rejection[which was last night]:'I really need more time to overcome everything that's revolving ard me'. Then after a freaking qns and answering session, I said,'I'm not the kind of gal you're looking for. It's better if you look for someone else. I'm sorry cos I can't agree to your requests'. Hence he said, 'I guess I have no other choice but to break this friendship of ours. I won't bother or contact you anymore. I hope that you'll find someone better than me'. And he hunged up straightaway.

Can you imagine that??!!! I was just about to gain the strength I lost months back, and this had to happened. The hurt that I once had began coming back to me at once. I've lost 'him' due to a relationship that doesn't work out and now, I've lost this lad here. Just because I wasn't able to accept him. How the hell am I supposed to accept him with those kinda requests coming from him??!!! Well, maybe other gals can tolerate and accede to them, but not me!!! I won't do anything that's outta qn where relationship matters. Maybe some would understand what requests I'm talking about here..

Whatever is it, my bro M said I did great for not accepting him. And I think so too..I've lost a friend due to a lame circumstances?? I don't know whether losing him[the lad] will leave a great impact on me or not..But I reckon, life's like this. You gain friends, you lose friends. In the end, you'll be left alone when you're dead.

Talking about death, I've lost another relative of mine. My granny called to say that her brother just passed on earlier this morning. Shocked, I was. I heard that he's been going in and out of the hospital to receive treament and I thought he would get better. But things proved otherwise. He was a quiet old man whom I called grandad. Doesn't really talk much but was always putting on a smile and very kind-hearted. I'm gonna miss him. Hari Raya this year won't be much of a fun, I assume. Well, we all gotta die someday ain't it..It's just that we don't know when's our time..

I shall be back to school tomorrow. 1515 is the time where I'll finish my lessons.However, tomorrow there'll be S&W going on!!! But, but...It's at 1415pm...Can you believe it??!! Having PE lessons in that kinda time??!!! Haiss..Long hours in school makes me feel 'sick' and so darn sleepy...How I miss secondary school life...!!!!

'The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive'


*OvEr aNd oUtz*


Fullstop at
10:30 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
February 2008