Saturday, September 17, 2005
Ok, I shall update now...This Nana ah...Well, the past week has been great. I've been confirmed a spot in SC and the oath-taking ceremony will be on this Tuesday. Had countless of rehearsals, just raising up our hand, pledge the oath and be in our formation. Damn, it was really exhausting. For the whole of 2 hours or more, we were doing the same thing over and over again. So that on the actual day, everything will be right. Like what they say, 'Practice makes perfect'. Being an SC, I have to change my school lifestyle. Can no longer come late, no longer MIA from sch, no longer jay-walking and no longer 'cabut-ing' lesson. Well, not really 'cabut' lah, but at that point of time, there was no teacher relieving us for that particular lesson so yeah...I went home. Haha...But, but...I have to set my priorities straight now. Like what my seniors and teachers said, 'Being a part of SC, you have to show good example towards the students in school'. Last time, when I was a monitress in sec sch, it isn't really obvious that the whole school know that you are one. Now, it's a different thing. Why? I gotta change my uniform so as to unify with the rest of the SCs. And we'll be having a collar pin and a lanyard to show that we are a councillor. Ain't that pretty obvious?? Well, on the other side, I gained many new friends in SC. We clicked with each other so well and so easily. We are gonna be together as one afterall..Hmmms...Work's been pretty ok..Except for the fact that I haven't been talking with that particular rider. He did it again the other night. Shouted at me for no reason. Crazy fellow!! Oh yeah...I had a 'great' conversation the other night, on Tuesday if I'm not wrong, with some of the crews plus my another manager. I just can't seem to hide something from people. I guess what Khairul said abt me is true and that is I can't lie. I was tryna find a solution to my glitch so I explained to them using another person as me. But I eventually said something hence they knew the real thing. And all those words came out. Yeahs, was condemned and scolded for a lil while but things got back to normal. I know I have to change my mindset. But it ain't easy for me to do so in a split second. Moreover, there's another one who's been contacting me currently. They told me not to fall for the one at work or I'll get it from them. I've been issued a warning 'letter' and I gotta get back to my usual self if I don't wanna get 'locked up'. Damn!! This is pretty hard. I've been living with this feeling for like 1 month already. Sometimes, I just feel like doing things which I'm not supposed to do at all. Things which are forbidden in my dictionary of life, that is. Gosh...It's just freaking hard. Like one of my friends said, 'It's just a phase of life we're going through'. I've been through it and now I wanna get out of it. Cos it's just ain't me. By going through this, I'm a different person. One month more before my birthday and hopefully, I'm gonna be REALLY OK by then. Oh yeah..Fasting month's coming soon. I can't wait for it to happen. But on the other hand, that sad feeling always come back during this period of time. Yet another year of going through it without a beloved family member..Oh wells...'Help me heal this wound, they've been open for way too long'.
Fullstop at
2:28 PM
[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a
complicated future. Well, I guess that's how
life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.
Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
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