Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Why can't people simply understand me??

Why can't people take it that I'm just being myself?

Why must people keep telling me to give chances and take the opportunity?

Why can't people see that it hurts to be in my situation?

Why can't people see that the more it hurt others, the more it hurts me?

Why is it that people think I love hurting and disappoint others?

Why can't people just accept the fact that I seriously have no feelings for anything/anyone at all?

I know I've broke a few hearts but what's the point in holding on when you know everything is fake? I don't want to be in one just for the sake of it. I want it to be filled with love. But the things now is, I simply have no feeling for anyone at all...I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. It's like, if I were to go for it even without any feeling, I would be cheating myself and my partner. I would be living in a world of deceit. A world of hypocrisy. I don't want that. I know people are happy that they finally see a change in me. Esp one of my bro. He was extremely happy for me. However, without any feelings, do you think a relationship would blossom? Even though I'm back on the right track, I seriously have no heart feelings for anyone in particular. Why can't people see that? Why can't they understand my plight? It's just not easy to fall in love. I can't force myself to be in one, ain't it. What's the use if there's nothing in it. It's just wasting me and my partner's time. I thank all those who have showered their love for me. I rejected cos of a reason. You guys have done no wrong towards me. I just can't go on living a lie. It hurts me more than it hurts you. I myself don't understand why I can't have even a tiny weeny feeling for you. All I know is, I'm fine this way. I prefer it to be this way, at least for now. Single and unattached. I'm just so terrible at judging myself.


Someone, take a gun and kill me. Adios~


Fullstop at
2:15 AM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
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