Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Monday, May 29, 2006

Oh my goodness...I'm freaking pissed with the training just now...Not because of the training itself but cos of some people lah...The mouth very LASER sia..Kanasai..Make so many comment. Bloody hell..If you're that good, join the Singapore Team lah..Why join school team only...Super irritated by her...Wasn't in the mood for training just cos of that big mouth..Cannot concentrate..Freako..

Aanyways, aha...Kak Sally is back from Bangkok!!!!! Wooohooo...Miss her and the bf lah..Haha..Glad that they enjoyed themselves..So shall see ya in sch tmrw and as for the bf, see him at work on Wed..!!! =) Oh yeah..Wed, I'm thinking of skipping sch again..I don't know..Even if I were to attend sch, it'll only be for a pathetic one hour..Then I gotta be off to the airport..Sending one of my mates...Yat..Haiss..I'm gonna miss you girl..2 weeks without you in school..Without your crappyness, jokes and stuffs..'The art of looking at gorgeous guys' Story...Gonna miss them loads..And please, don't think too much lah ok..Everything's gonna be fine there..Insyallah...Just think of HIM please, and not those guys ok...Hahaha..

Ok, I don't know why but I think things are seriously taking a bad turn..We are almost on the verge of NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER AT ALL...Even though we don't have ANY misunderstanding or whatsoever...Funny ain't it..Working in the same roof but no communication...What the hack is happening..I totally have no idea myself..I wonder why the bond we had last time SUDDENLY disappeared into thin air...Like in a split second, everything btwn us changes..And just the other day when I hanged out together with a few work mates and Brother, and he came along later in the morning..I got a lil pissed by one of my work mate action and his...It may be very nonsensical if I told you people what actually happened, but I don't know why I IMMEDIATELY reacted that way when that happened, hence left the both of them looking at me in shock...Told myself just to forget about this whole damn thing, but still...

One of my friend kept telling me not to hide myself, not to look things only on the outer surface, do some soul searching bla bla bla...But hey, I did try to look things on a different angle...But I guess it just doesn't seem to work...I'm so giving up on myself already lah...NEGATIVITY...Yeah...That's always in my mind..MY BEST FRIEND EVER...


Fullstop at
9:41 PM

Monday, May 22, 2006

A week has passed but I'm still not well..Was absent again from school today and went to the doctor, again. This time around a different doctor. After having fever, came the flu and lotsa phelgms and coughs..So irritating..Waited for like half an hour for the doctor and yeah same old thing..

Aanyways, gonna be real busy this week and more to come. Especially with the upcoming camp in June which I'm gonna work on. Am in charge of the games section. Gosh...I have totally no idea what to plan!! Am seeking help from all sorta friends about this. Pls dear friends, if you got any games in mind, tell me about it...I need some suggestions badly!!! Lols..Am kinda looking forward to the May intake new councillors which might be in the SC's grasp, hopefully, by the end of the month. That'll mean more members and more chaotic session with them. Haha..

Oh yeah..I got to know that my 'once upon a time' good friend, is already engaged. But the news didn't came from the owner herself, instead, someone else. Frankly speaking, was kinda disappointed as to why she didn't inform me and stuffs..Well, yeah, like what malays said, 'buat secara kecil-kecilan'. Nevertheless, she could tell me beforehand so that well, I'm able to join in her moment of happiness ain't it..I thought of congratulating her over the phone, but thinking back, nahs...We haven't been contacting for ages..Let's just pray for her happiness and may you be all well with your fiance. Hoping to see you on your wedding day though..On the other hand, I'm happy for her. Didn't expect one of my good friend to get hitched so fast.. Haha...

Thinking back, it's already been 19 years of my life. Ain't getting any younger..As time passes us by, we realize things which we don't find it important back then. It's like the more older you get, the more trivial matters you have to take care of. Adulthood is sure something which you can't really handle yourself, sometimes. Take my cousin for instance, I think he's facing too much pressure till he thinks of nonsensical stuffs..That scares me a lot you know...When someone close to you talking about things which they are not supposed to, or rather, not the time yet..Nothing is ever easy in our life ain't it...

As of now, I don't know what to think of..My mind is just too preoccupied with school and work. Other than that, there's nothing else. Kinda boring life I lead, some of you may find. Yeah, I agree..Sometimes it is..However, with such wonderful friends surrounding you, you won't feel the boredom at all. It's like they are the sunshine and rain over you..No matter what kinda misunderstandings we may have, at the end of the day, we are still friends..I'm glad to have made many new friends..Friends who understand me better, friends who teach me right from wrong, friends who listens to my inner part, friends who don't mind going through my rough patches..I seriously Thank GOD for bringing me to this path of life..Where I got to learn all sorts of things..It's really amazing..Syukur Alhamdulilah..

I may not have mentioned this to all of my friends, but..I'm taking this opportunity to do so..

THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE, FOR GUIDING ME THROUGH ALL THESE WHILE. I APPRECIATE IT GREATLY. NOTHING CAN EVER REPAY WHAT YOU PEOPLE HAVE DONE TO ME IN MY 19 YEARS OF LIFE. I ENJOY BEING WITH YOU PEOPLE HENCE I HOPE YOU GUYS WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME, BE IT FAR OR NEAR..IN MY HEART YOU'LL ALWAYS BE. =))


Fullstop at
9:30 PM

Monday, May 15, 2006

Right on track now...Been busy with school, work, camps etc etc...Been feeling freaking tired these few days cos of the activities lined-up for myself. Darn, it really dragged me down. Now, am sick. Common thing. Fever and sore throat. Skipped school today. On MC though. Anyways, last weekend, I enjoyed myself with the SC mates in the Underwater World. We camped there. Slept in the Underwater World, together with the fishes. You know, the travellator which brings people around the dome shaped kinda thingy...Yeah, we slept there. It was truly a nice experience. Get to see all sorts of fishes.

Had a seriously great time with the SC's. We bonded even more and got closer. I was practically laughing and enjoying myself during that period. Well, was too stressed up with something at work so yeah...I didn't even thought of any problems that time. First day upon reaching there, we were given the privileged to tour around the underwater world..It's so freaking faboulous..LC, one of my mates, kept going around saying, "Hey you fat..Babat.." to the fishes actually. He's really cute lor...Every fish which is big he kept saying, "fat, fat"..Non-stop word coming from him..We also learnt the history of sharks and dolphins. Now, I gotta stop eating shark's fin soup after knowing the infos on them. Gosh..Pity them. Then at night we went to the Musical Fountain. It was damn AMAZING..The lights and graphics or whatever you called those thingys used, were totally fantastic. I was awed by those. It seriously kept me off thinking abt nonsensical stuffs. However, there was one part whereby I don't know how come the past person suddenly came back into my mind. Was enjoying myself watching the waters spurting out from whatever you called that, when suddenly my mind was filled with the past memories. Oh well...

Then 2nd day was the day all of us has been waiting for. Dolphin Lagoon. We got to see and touch the dolphin. They were so CUTE. The way they synchronised themselves..Damn, it was really great lah..I got to touch the dolphin, called Jumbo. It was such a nice feeling. Spent time with the mates at Siloso Beach a while. During this camp, got more closer with the mates. LC, Ana, Wei Li, Fai, Fie, Hadah...Too many to list down lah..But truly happening..Took loads of photos but it's with another friend. Will get it from him soon.

Ok enough about that...Gonna get back to school and work tomorrow. Hmms..Work..I don't know to say whether it's been a drag or not..Maybe those problems are..I'm simply tired with everything which keeps evolving around me. I'm always the fence. The middle person. People kept complaining to me about their probs but no matter how hard I tried to help them, I, in the end, became a victim of their probs. Like what the hacks..How so? I myself don't know..It's like sometimes when I don't want to be a part of it, they are the ones who pulled me in..Now, it's hard for me to escape from it. God, please give me the strength to carry on with this game of life..

To people which I haven't been spending time with for like how many months already, I will try my very best to give up some time to you...I miss you guys like how you missed me...Till then, please take care...=)


Fullstop at
10:00 PM

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ok, so school's started...It marks the 2nd year of my education in Bishan. Just one more year to go and that's it. Aanyways, this term's timetable is kinda great. No more ending lesson so late. I've got days where I end at 10 and starts at 1. This is what I want..Haha..Lols..Oh yeah, the CA's changed. No longer Mr Liau..This time it's a lady. And I forgot her name. However, Mr Liau will still be teaching my class for Tourism. Then there's PIE, ADM, ENT etc. Will start learning only next week I guess.

So for the first two days of school, I wasn't in class. Was busy helping out with the may intake orientation programme. SCs collaborating with the BLs that is. There were so many classes this time. Saw a few faces I know. Well, anyway, I was in charge of ISP. Higher Nitec in Biz Admin. Together with 2 of the BLs. Firstly, was the tour around the school. Then the ice breaking and stuffs like that..Well, orientation..What else do you expect right..Same old every year..Initially, the class was like dead lah..Yeah, it's like you don't know anyone in that class and prefer to be alone kinda thingy..However, after a lil while, sparks began to occur. After the introduction of the names, they were kinda more ok with each other. Asked Nana to help out in my class and yeah..We were enjoying it most of the time. Got myself familiarised with the students of the class and they are a great bunch of people.

2nd day was the telematch thingy. My class didn't win anything but nevertheless, we had fun. Exteremely good fun. Sabo-ing people was the main purpose in that. Well, I only sabo-ed my class with water lah not flour unlike some others. I don't want them to get dirty. Pity them..Haha...Well, I attacked my fave guy in that class which was so clever to run away and stay in a spot which is muddy. So that I won't attacked him lah..All these remind me of my orientation programme last year. Overall, the bond I had with ISP was good.

Due to this orientation thingy, I suffered. Lethargic-ness, muscle cramps and migraines. There was one day, on Wednesday, I skipped work cos I really had no strength left to work. Upon reaching home at 630pm, I fainted to bed. Only woke up when the alarm sounded, the next morning that is. I was totally drained out the night before that I didn't even have my dinner or shower. Was still in the zombie mode when I wanted to go to school.

Today, again, I skipped school. Was having a heavy migraine in the morning. Couldn't even get myself up. Lack of sleep I guess. This is only the starting point. More will come in time. No work today..Off day...Took off so that I could celebrate my sister's bdae together with my dad and brother. Haven't been really spending time with them for the past few days.

For personal life, I think we're drifting. I don't know..Maybe it's just on my part. But again, maybe it's not..The communication we used to have last time no longer exists. It's like, we saw each other most of the time, yet we rarely talk. Bumped into each other most of the time, yet both gave no signal. Only sometimes were there times where we kinda like acknowledged each other. Can see that he communicate more with one of my friend rather than me..Well, more like arguing/disturbing kinda thingy..Well, the smses do go on sometimes..Oh well...Guess it's just another failure yet again...

Till then people, au revoir..


Fullstop at
2:22 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
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March 2007
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September 2007
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November 2007
February 2008