Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Friday, June 30, 2006

'It takes no time to fall in love but it takes you years to know what love is'

Reading back all those conversations they had, heart wrenching it was.. Tears kept flowing down..The other party apologized to the own self for not waiting?? The one who should be blame wasn't the other party but the own self. The own self wasn't sure on how to actually accept the whole thing..The own self took its time. All the own self can do now is pray for the other party's happiness with the beloved. Maybe everything wasn't meant to be, the own self thought. Maybe there's a blessing in disguise. Maybe the other party will be better off with the beloved rather than the own self. Maybe even the own self has totally given up on it.

Maybe..Maybe..


Fullstop at
11:34 PM

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I don't know so as to rejoice or be depressed over that particular news...Was taken aback by what has happened but there's nothing I could do to change it. I mean..Who am I to even think of changing the whole situation..?? I have no right to interefere..Speechless I was..Yet remain calm and wished the best of it. Was crying on the train way back home, thinking of it. Furthermore with that particular song playing on my mp3...Gosh, memories hurt huh..I don't know why was I even crying!!! Tears of joy? Perhaps...Unlikely though...Haha..Confusion..

Was acting as per normal at work just now, as though nothing happened..Laughters, smiles, happiness was all over the place..However, in this brave front lies a fragile heart..Told myself not to cry over this particular incidents as it will just keep repeating over and over, except that the players are different..Hacks!! Even made a pact to myself regarding this thingy..Am trying hard though..Some people may find it ridiculous but yeah..Circumstances..

On the other hand, in another situation, hell yeah we may look good if we are a couple but take note, the key word here is IF...IF it takes place, then the whole thing will be very different and you guys can say whatever you want. Too bad, it NEVER HAPPEN. Hence, wassup with you people keep talking about us?? Just plain bored?? Well, sometimes I get bored with those comments too. I mean, if it's true, I don't care..However, it's not..It's kinda irritating at times even though it's meant as a joke...Come on, as much as you guys want me to understand/respect you, please understand/respect me as well..I'm not asking for much...Everything has its limits don't they...=) Oh btw, I'M NOT MISSING THE PAST...

A totally different thing now. CAMP. Not really looking forward already..Some people just get on my nerves even before the camp starts. Un-cooperative, disrespect, nonsense attitude...I've foresee it but to that particular extent, I seriously can't take it...It's no longer a group if no one wants to participate and heck care...I'll see how it goes...But for sure, I ain't gonna enjoy it as much apart from meeting the dudes again...


DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU.




Fullstop at
12:43 AM

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Woke up bright and early to get ready for school...Packed my stuffs and put on the uniform..When it comes to the zipping the skirt, the zip had to break loose and yeah..Be spoilt at that instance..Super fugk..Yesterday was my shirt which turned pink, courtesy of my dear sister which then made me stayed at home, today it's the skirt problem...To make it worse, I only got one set of uniform..How great is that...!!!! So in total I've skipped school for 2 days because of pathetic reason. I don't know how am I going to sch tmrw..The co-op shop only opens at 11 plus or 12 but I end sch at 10 tmrw. So how the hack am I supposed to buy a new skirt...

Super duper irritating....Missed my TPS test just now too..Dammit...Just a few more days of school and I gotta waste my money to buy a new set of uniform...It's just...Undescribable...3 more days of school and off to holidays...Which also means camp..Waiting in despair...Hopefully, the dudes will come for the night..


I'm speechless as to what has happened...


Fullstop at
4:07 PM

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Am not myself these few days...School's been a drag recently...Everything in school just tires me out...Escaped myself from school again today, just to have a good rest at home. However, it didn't seem like a good one when sibs kept quarelling again and again..

OA's CA seems pretty ok even though I forget some stuffs and made some careless mistakes like answers which are so freaking simple..Whatever lah..It's over anyway. 50% of it will be included for the final term, I think.

I don't know why but I just feel tired day by day..Even though haven't been working for like 2 weeks already..I miss work? Maybe a lil bit..Getting more and more lazier as days go by..Don't have the mood for almost everything..Just wanna sleep and sleep..

Whatever it is, I'm just not me these few days. Pardon me for that. Will be back to the right surface soon, I hope...


Fullstop at
8:26 PM

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Had a seriously great time during the bbq just now...Especially with the attachment guys's presence...Had loads of laughter and joy around...First up, was playing some games, do some cheers etc..There was one point of time where we had to blindfold ourselves and grab a marble from this container which contains stupid and gross stuffs...Mucus, Salivas, Dead worms, Mixture of ketchup and sauces, Sand and other things..Digusting it was..

Next was dressing our mates accordingly. Since the theme was retro, so yeah...All the Elvis Presley and Madonna clones came out..Was utterly clueless as to what to do with my team mates, Jason and Ya Mei at first..However, we cracked some silly ideas and yeah..Not bad also lah...

Moment all of us are waiting for was finally official when the games are over. Makan time lah..What else right..There were loads of food esp chickens..Had my fill then enjoyed talking and crapping with the usual us..This time around together with our dear attachment guys. Hugged my Kor tightly when he came...It's been a while..

Towards the end, usual us were left with one of the pit. So yeah..Was listening to this particular BSB song which reminds me of the past and that's when Fai said something about it. Then all the relationship discussion starts..Had a good heart to heart talk with Fai even though it's only for a while..He's one of the fewest guy which I told my past to. Now that he knows it, and yeah the usual stuffs.."Can make friends but should know where I stand with them" bla bla...I thought he's gonna discriminate and scold me for that, but he didn't. He even thinks the same as I do. "They are a great bunch of people, nice-hearted", he said. After all those talk, I guess I gotta change my words and yeah..Oh well...Life..haha...

Before the whole bunch of us went off, bid farewell to the organising committee and thanked them. Their effort was well appreciated. Hugged Kor again and yeah..Don't feel like letting go of him..But what to do...Hopefully the next time I'll see him will be during the camp. The guys had plans so they went off with their bikes while the 3 of the girls continued their way to the interchange. And here I am safely home. Fatigue but had lotsa fun..=))


Fullstop at
12:06 AM

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Doa Buat Sahabat

Segala puja dan puji itu hanya milikmu wahai Tuhan penentu segala takdir. Selawat dan salam buat Rasul junjungan petunjuk sepanjang zaman, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w dan ahli keluarga serta para sahabatnya yang umpama bintang-bintang bergemerlapan.

Ya Allah
Dalam perjalanan kehidupan ini telah Engkau jadikan bagiku seorang teman. Sedangkan ia adalah diluar jangkaan dan sangkaan hambaMu ini. Aku tetapkan baginya satu peraturan yang hanya Allah yang akan menentukan segalanya.

Ya Allah
Dalam kekalutan begini, dia pergi menyendiri dan hanyalah dititipkan suatu pesanan melalui seorang teman buatku. Dimanakah salahku wahai Tuhan dan tunjukkanlah dimana silapku. Jangan Engkau biarkan aku begini tanpa diketahui apakah kesalahan yang telah aku lakukan terhadapnya.

Ya Allah
Walau apa pun takdirMu keatasku, maka disaat ini aku tahu dia perlukan pertolongan. Oleh itu wahai Tuhan, aku dengan penuh rasa kehambaan yang penuh kehinaan memohon padaMu bagi pihaknya, kerana dia adalah sahabatku.

Ya Allah
Ampunilah daku dan sahabatku dan masukkanlah kami kedalam rahmatMu dan Engkau adalah Tuhan yang maha penyayang.

Ya Allah
Jangan Engkau tinggalkan untuknya suatu dosa melainkan telah Engkau ampunkan. Dan tiada suatu aibnya, melainkan telah Engkau tutupinya. Tiada suatu dukanya melainkan telah Engkau hilangkan daripadanya. Tiada suatu hutangnya melainkan telah Engkau bayarkannya. Tiada suatu kesakitan melainkan telah Engkau sembuhkannya. Tiada suatu hajatnya dari keperluan dunia dan akhiratnya yang telah Engkau redhai dan tepat untuknya melainkan telah Engkau tunaikan segalanya baginya wahai Tuhan yang Maha Penyayang.


Ya Allah
Lindunglah sahabatku dari hilangnya nikmatMu dan berubahnya kesejahteraanMu dan mendadaknya seksaMu dan berbagai macam murkaMu.

Ya Allah
Sungguhnya aku bermohon kepadaMu tabahkanlah dia dalam menghadapi segala urusan dan kekuatan dalam menerima petunjukMu

Ya Allah
Kurniakanlah kepadanya jiwa ketaqwaan dan sucikanlah. Engkaulah sebaik-baik yang mensucikannya.

Ya Allah
Sungguhnya aku bermohon kepadaMu bagi pihaknya dengan sabaik-baik permintaan, sebaik-baik permohonannya, sebaik-baik kejayaannya dan sebaik-baik pahala baginya. Tetapkanlah untuknya, beratkanlah timbangan kebaikannya. Mantapkanlah imannya, tingkatkanlah darjatnya, terimalah solatnya dan ampunkanlah dosa-dosanya. Ya Allah, aku bermohon baginya kepadaMu tingkat yang tinggi di syurga. Ya Allah perkenankanlah permohonanku.

Ya Allah

Sungguhnya Engkau mengetahui apa yang aku rahsiakan dan apa yang aku perlihatkan, maka ampunkanlah kealpaan dan kelalaiannya. Dan Engkau mengetahui segala hajatnya, maka kabulkanlah permohonannya. Ya Allah, aku bermohon baginya kepadaMu keimanan yang selalu mendampingi hatinya, dan keyakinan yang kuat sehingga dia mengerti bahawasanya tidak akan menimpa dirinya kecuali apa yang telah Engkau tentukan baginya dan bahawasanya apa sahaja yang telah menimpa dirinya bukanlah semata-mata yang meluputkannya. Dan apa sahaja yang telah meluputkannya bukanlah yang semata-mata menimpa dirinya.

Ya Allah

Aku bermohon baginya kepadaMu iman yang dia buat cari kebenaran. Cahaya yang dia jadikan ikutan dan rezeki yang dirinya cukupkan. Ya Allah…jadikanlah dia cinta kepadaMu dengan hatinya seluruhnya dan rela kepadaMu dengan segala kemampuan dirinya seluruhnya.

Ya Allah
jadikanlah cintanya seluruhnya hanya kepadaMu dan amal perbuatannya seluruhnya hanyalah untuk mencari keredhaanMu.

Ya Allah
Apa sahaja yang Engkau jauhkan darinya dari hal-hal yang dia cintai, jadikanlah hal itu sebagai penguat untuknya mencintai apa yang Engkau cintai dan jadikanlah cintanya kepadaMu sebagaimana Engkau mencintai.

Ya Allah
Cukuplah diriMu bagiku, tiada Tuhan selain Engkau. Hanya kepadaMu aku bertawakal. Dan Engkaulah Tuhan yang memiliki arasy yang agong.


Fullstop at
11:38 AM

Friday, June 16, 2006

The week's been pretty hectic for me..Loads of plans after school. The moment I step at home, I changed and immediately sleep till the next morning. Even after sleeping for abt 10 hours, I'm still sleepy. That's how lethargic I am these few days..

Just so many things to do..Camp meetings, Briefings..Etc..Haven't been working for the past few days too...Hopefully, gonna be back to work and training soon. Been missing in action for quite some time..Oh yeah, am in the Dance Committee for this season. Gdness, can't believe it that I'm in it. Was about to tell the in charge that I wanted to back out when she came to me telling me abt the dance practise and stuffs. It's gonna start on this coming Tuesday. Can't imagine myself DANCING in FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL. The last time I danced in front of many people was in Secondary Three. So long ago seh...That's when all the wobbly-ness and butterflies takes their place.

Aanyways, Bishan Netball Team got first in the Netball Carnival last Wed. Wasn't the top 12 who played though..It didn't matter anyway. I missed the selection session and yeah seeing other people who's way much better than me, I think it's only right that I wasn't in. However, some peeps weren't too happy about it either..Haha.."Join the team" someone said to me...Lols..

Office Administration Module CA will be on next Tuesday. Haven't even study a damn thing. Don't really understand whatever thing is there..Form filling whatever lah..My teacher teach also like bullet train. Kan chiong spider..TPS CA will be in August, after our hols in July that is.

Am missing the attachement guys badly esp my dearest Kor and Fai..Hope to see them tomorrow during the SC bbq thingy...Am praying hard that Mr Sun will be there always..Alvina and gang has planned some activities for us and we gotta come with something RETRO. I seriously have nothing retro-ish on my mind, in my wardrobe or wherever...Those who couldn't accede to their request will have to do forfeits. My oh my...Gotta bring extra clothings just in case..Hmms...May it be a fun one though..

Wedding Bells gonna be ringing this weekend. Not too sure whether I'm looking forward to it or not..It's from dad's side anyway. Maybe am just gonna present myself for a lil while..Depends on my dad though..He's gonna stay long for sure..Talking abt dad, it seems that we are currently facing a communication breakout. It's been going on for some time though..I don't know why...I can count how many times I really talk to him in a week. It can be as bad as only once. I ain't kidding..Things are getting worse I can say. I simply have no idea how to rectify the whole situation. It's like sometimes when I took the initiative to strike a conversation with him, he will give me simple answers. Yeah, some of you may say I gotta understand him cos he's tired working the whole day and stuffs...But well..The response is seriously demoralising...I'm so affected by the whole thing..I don't know..Maybe it's just me who don't know how to take care of her dad well..Things have seriously been very different lately..Like there's no more life and joy in the house/family. Even if there is, it's only for a short period of time. It won't last long...


Nothing in the world ever lasts, ain't it...


Fullstop at
8:08 PM

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Blood donation. What are your views on donating blood? At first I thought it was painful and stuffs, however, after experiencing it for the first time, it was great. It was fun. I've always wanted to donate blood but due to the age limit last time and also don't really have the courage to do so..Haha...Well, now since I'm of the right age, I tried it out. The blood donation drive was held at my school student's hub. Me and a few of my friends were the first batch to arrive.

So had to fill in the form thingy and wait for the registration. I was forced to have breakfast just cos of this donation. So I quickly had 2 slices of bread and went back to the hub. Then went to see a doctor I think..Who asked qns..Lotsa qns..After that, it began. I was the 2nd person. First they took a sample from my middle finger on my left hand. Then proceeded to the rest chair. I was practically noisy during that time..Was asking them lotsa qns..They took about 6 lil tubes filled with my blood then the small bag thingy..The tubes are gonna be tested for HIV, Haemoglobin(sp?) and etc..The process of injection didn't really hurt even though I was biting the paper when they wanted to start the whole thing. Hah..Ironic ain't it..

The nurse which attended to me was very friendly. She explained to me abt the stuffs, kept assuring me it's gonna be all right, kept asking whether I'm feeling ok or not..Very helpful..After everything is over, the guy nurse bandaged my arm. In class I felt sleepy hence I slept during one of the TPS lesson. Haha..Oh yeah, when I was on the way back home, on the train, I felt like puking and fainting..Had shortness of breath also..I was pratically trying hard not to vomit or faint in the public..But seriously, I was very very weak..Couldn't take it anymore hence I walked as fast as possible through the interchange for the bus.

As soon as I reached home, took 2 tabs of panadols and gave up to bed. Was already on the verge by then..Haha...Thinking abt it, it was kinda funny.. Action strong but very weak actually..Got a lil reprimandation from Dad for not eating proper breakfast before the whole thing..But I don't eat breakfast mah...Aisey..

Anyways, I got shocked when HE msged me asking abt my well being and whether I'm working or not. It's been a freaking long time since he last msged me and also since I saw him at work..Well, glad to know everything's fine in him...Have been skipping work for the past 3 days cos of the busy schedule hence I'm going back to work today..Heard that there's a new promotion going on..

Next week is gonna be another hectic one for me. Netball tournaments, Meetings, BBQ pit and Weddings..I'm not sure whether I'm able to work or not next week. I doubt I'll be playing for the tournament but still the whole team have to be present. Haiss...

Head's spinning again..So later then..


Fullstop at
1:13 PM

Monday, June 05, 2006


* Despite the challenges plus tragic injury I had, we managed to get 3rd!!! Wooohooo!!! =) Posted by Picasa


Fullstop at
7:18 AM

* After hours of battling under the sun Posted by Picasa


* Half of the Ok Best =) Posted by Picasa


* A few mins just before the first game Posted by Picasa


* First day of the match Posted by Picasa


Friday, June 02, 2006

And so everything was worth it after all...We got the 3rd placing for Inter Department Netball..Congrats everyone..Thanks for all the effort put in..Thanks for the concern too and I apologize if I wasn't in my best mode during all the games...It was due to my injury you all know..Thanks a lot for understanding..Everyone in the team was great...


Adik, Busu, Nenek, Iqah, Aini, Izah and 2 Joanne's..THANKS A MILLION..=D


Despite the injury I had since Monday, I still played on for the inte department..Only GOD knows how I felt while I was playing..My hamstring injured like hell...And now, it's swollen..Overstretched the muscles while playing the first game yesterday hence it aggravates the whole thing. Wasn't able to play properly in the end..Had to rely lots on my other members during the games..Made lotsa clumsy mistakes which took up the time limit...

Anyway, glad everything is over..1st and 2nd placing won by the accounting department..They were so great...Their skills was like professional already..Well, there were some basketball players mah..They deserved to win..They were freaking good..


Well, body's giving up already..All muscles are very weak..Wonder how I'm gonna survive working full shift tomorrow...Till then, enjoy your weekend..=)


Fullstop at
10:12 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
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