Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Monday, July 31, 2006

Yesterday was the good friend's last day at work. He's gonna transfer to TNT, following
'The Dad'...I already made a pact to him that I won't cry at his departure but I guess I failed. Was busy keying in my order when he came to me from the front door and shook my hand and said those farewell words. Then he went off. Gosh, my heart seriously crushed. Immediately, crystals formed in my eyes. I could not resist those tears. I saw him went away, looking back at the store which he has served for 2 years.

Could not really carry on with work for a while. Customers look at me in a weird way, thinking of why suddenly my eyes were red and watery. Yeah, people may think that he's only transferring what..It may not seem a big deal, but to me it is. He stays in the west while I'm at the east. It's difficult to meet up cos of both's busy schedule. Plus, his internet connection is gonna be cut as his house gotta do some re-wiring thing so can't chat on msn. His phone is the same thing. If he never pay his bill, that's it. No other modes of communication. Furthermore, it's not the same. For the past one year, he has been my laughing starter.

He's the only good friend I have at work, not until yesterday that is. I can't even remember how I started talking to him. All I know is we became great friends. He understands so much abt my predicaments, he laughs at my lame, stupid jokes, he teached me right from wrong, he will always try his very best to make me laugh or smile whenever I'm sad or even when I'm mad. He is also the one who makes me cry. We shared so many problems together and will find means and ways to solve it. Basically, it's like we have been friends since childhood. However, I only gotta know him last year, July to be exact, when I joined the workforce that is. It's only been a year of our friendship yet so many things happened btwn us. It's so irony that you understand and bond with someone so much within one year.


Due to this closeness, people thought that we were together as a couple. How ridiculous can that be. But I don't blame them either. It's a natural thinking of humans. I even made a pact with him, not talking to each other at all at work and it seriously happened for like 2 weekends. However, you broke the pact on your last day of work. I don't blame you friend..Now that you're no longer there, things are surely gonna be different. There's no one for me to vent my anger or sadness, no one for me to punch or push, no one for me to laugh wholeheartedly with...Everything during that one year has become a memory. A wonderful one.

I guess it's just me now with the memories. First, it was the brother, then now it's you. No matter how hard for me to swallow, I still have to force myself to do so. Facing the weekends without you..Without the Bulldog Auntie..Farewell my friend..May you lead a happy working life down there at TNT. I am gonna miss you terribly. Take care always. Cherios!


Fullstop at
3:31 PM

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Ok...I've been tagged by my dear Kak Sally to do the weird qns thingy...So yeah...Here it goes..

My 6 weird facts

-I don't eat rice. Not exactly don't eat lah, just don't really like it. Perhaps once in 3 mths or more will I only eat them. No reason why.

-I won't be able to sleep w/o my Cookie Monster and Spongebob plus w/o resting my arm on my forehead. Once I tried not resting my arm, it resulted in me not sleeping at all till 7 am..Cos that's when I gave up and rested my arm..

-I simply ADORE cookies. I won't be able to miss a day w/o having them.

-I cook for my family. The irony part will be that I don't eat what I cook. Heh..

-Will tend to cry for simple reasons. Be it happy or sad. I'll cry when I'm too stress, sometimes before sleeping, for no particular reasons also. Hence, my brother called me a cry baby. Cis..

-Lastly, will always get gastrics. Even though I've already eaten a proper meal. It happens almost everyday. It has become my BEST FRIEND.


All right, so there you go...Now, the 6 people who I want them to do will be...Well, actually I only got 2 in mind..That's Darls and Yat..Lols..The other 4 no idea lah...Heh..So enjoy..=)


Fullstop at
11:45 PM

Thursday, July 27, 2006

School's started..Nothing's different..Been absent for 2 days cos of gastrics..It's acting up again..Damn I hate it so much. Found out that exam is gonna be in like a month time. 11th and 13th Sept I think. Then it's the holidays. However, this time around, school's gonna resume on the 3rd or 4th day of Hari Raya. How pathetic can that be??!!!! All along I thought it's gonna be on November instead. By that time, the dudes are gonna be back in school. Which is so practically great. Am missing them so much.

Brother called again yesterday. Just when I stepped into the house, the phone rings. Then yeah, talked abt some stuffs..He and his forever lame and nonsensical craps and sarcasm. Told me off for being sucha crybaby about his departure. What the hacks...Obviously, I'm sad of it lor..Oh yeah, he gave me a testi in Friendster which is oh-so-sweet-and-touching...Nevertheless, he is a marvellous brother..

A friend told me just now to be wary whenever he comes online cos it might not be him after all. It makes me wonder why. Then he goes saying that it might be his gf. And the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard from him is that the gf is jealous of me. Like what the hacks...He doesn't know the reason so either. But something triggered to him that the gf might have read on his msn chat logs. Gdness...What's there to be jealous of when he loves you so much?? I'm only a friend.. Oh well, can't blame her either..I guess I would be jealous too if I were her..So yeah...Never mind then..

Till here...Gotta 'entertain' my dearest friend Yat with her antics..Heh..I know you miss me so much...=)


Fullstop at
10:32 PM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Work has been a dread for the past 2 days...Totally shagged me out..Was pratically in and out of the kitchen to help where I can..It's been full house for 2 days straight..And the most ridiculous and unreasonable things can be, involves the customers. I'm not tryna be a shit here but I'm just stating facts..Some customers can be so freaking friendly and understanding whereas some is the opposite. Thus making me and my staffs in a difficult spot. Oh well..

Brother finally called after like more than a week the transfer thingy occurs. Asked me abt the transfer thingy. I'm at my wits' end now. To stay or to go...Making decision is something I abhor most. It's tough indeed..

Best friends...What does it actually mean? Do BEST FRIENDS really exist? I wonder...You ever mentioned that I am your best friend, but what happened to that term, when we practically ain't on talking terms now? Just what happened btwn us..I have no fucking idea..It hurts me to see you almost everyday but no acknowledgement made at all. It's like I don't exists in your life anymore..You suddenly stopped talking to me, You suddenly drift further from me. It all happens in a split second. It's like you've changed into someone I don't know..
A STRANGER.
YOU ARE NOT YOU ANYMORE.
I told myself to get over it but it's tough..Maybe I will soon..Time plays a huge part again..

Anyway, school's starting this monday. Am not looking forward to it AT ALL. No doubt I miss my mates, but starting school means exams are nearing..It also means more and more project work..Not only that, as an SC, preparations gotta be done for the whatever special celebrations in school. That also means staying in school till late. Not forgetting, back to training..Now that the hamstring's recovered...Heck..

I guess I'm done..


Au revoir


Fullstop at
1:14 AM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I guess that's the end...End of a beautiful friendship??


What I had wanted to avoid all along, happened within such a short time...


Wonder what has brought about the change?


The bond was cut off just like that...


Or rather drifted...


Far apart...


Devastating it is when you were once so close yet so far now...


It reminds me of the past yet again...


Whereby the 'drifted' thingy occurs...


Hence, it ended silently...Heh..


Now, history's repeating itself...


I guess no one's to blame


But


Me??


Fullstop at
1:10 AM

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

What are the differences between CHANCES and OPPORTUNITES???


Someone, anyone...Tell me please?


I had a huge debate with my friend over this...But I guess, I still don't understand..Don't understand the deep meaning it has..I thought it's the same all along...*thinking hard*


Fullstop at
2:23 AM

Monday, July 10, 2006

Staying up late at night to watch soccer ALONE, is not so interesting after all. However, a few mins after the penalty was scored, Dad came out from his room to join me. Couldn't resist the noise from the tv. Haha...So, I had company..Well, only for the first half. 2nd half, back to watching it alone. Lol..Was rooting for France even though most of my mates are with Italy. I'm scared stiff whenever Italy had a corner. Their target is so power...Well, yeah, France got the lead and Italy equalise soon after. Just like the Germany vs Argentina, England vs Portugal matches, extra 30 mins and penalty kick out. By then, my eyes could not hold on any longer hence I went to bed. Which is considered good cos France didn't manage to win. Heart wrenching it is. Anyway, Italy deserved it. Right from the start, they played gracefully..So yeah..

Now that the World Cup fever is gone, everything's gonna be back to normal. As in, no more late nights watching soccer, no more heart pains...The only heart pains left will be on how to pay all those bets back..Not me though, luckily..Haha..

After all that has happened, there's nothing for me to look forward to when coming to work. Apart from Mr Joker, there's no one else. The best friend will be transferring with the RM. The bro will take charge of the TM outlet. The particular someone is also said to be transferring soon. Yeah, how nice...Today is the start of the new management thingy and sadly, am working at 4. Longer hours at work..Hopefully, everything will be just right...

There's nothing else now..So enjoy your week.


Fullstop at
2:03 PM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Exhausted. Lethargic. Muscle cramps. Sleepy. These are what I felt after the camp. However, the positive ones are of course fun, happiness and stuffs...No doubt being the organiser is tough, but it wasn't really bad after all. Glad that all the campers had tons of fun. Also glad that the dudes were present. Basically all ends well.

We were scared that the campfire won't be a fantastic one but it turns out otherwise. With the performances held by the campers, practically everyone was enjoying themselves. Laughing, mingling with each other, cheering and stuffs. Everyone did a very good job in the performances. Some were cute, some were funny. The carpark then turned into a 'dance hall' for a while. Amazingly, everyone was dancing to Shakira Bamboo Remix including yours truly. I was just clapping and getting to the beat when this particular guy just come up and asked me to join him. Well, without any obligations, I go with the flow. Haha..It was seriously nice lah..It's like..The sense of satisfaction you feel when you see every single one happily enjoying themselves. It was just superb.

2nd day was the Dragon Boat. Another day of fun. Teamwork, Cooperation, Support and more. That was being learnt by all of us. This time, the dragon boating was much more happening than the last time I went to. This time around, we get to jump in the waters. The instructor made us row to the centre of the river and stop. Then one by one, get down to the waters. Wooohooo..!!! Freaking cool it was. My 2 days of not showering was not wasted. Haha..We grabbed onto one another. As for me, not being a swimmer, had kinda hard time. Kept holding Fir's hand. Then the rest like Nana, Alvina, Rach, LC came to us. Then we decided to hold each other's hand and float ourselves. It was FREAKING COOL, I tell ya..It was like a flower formation we made. Stayed in the waters for like 15-20 mins..Then when it was time to get back into the boat, we were like.."awwwhhh...". All of us just want to stay longer. Haha..LC was my life saver. He helped me in the waters cos Fir had another someone to help and the rest was already on the boat. It was seriously happening lah..Oh yeah, that Jannah screamed and screamed when the instructor purposely rocked the boat sideways. My ears were sore from all her screaming. Lols..

During the debrief, prize-giving of best campers, best instructors and stuffs were being done. They were then given this paper to like sorta write a tribute to someone whom they think have done a good job in this camp. I didn't expect to get any though but thanks to darling and Shariman. They gave that piece of paper to me. I was seriously touched by it. And darling, sorry for not being able to sleep with you. Was sleeping with the dudes this time round. Loads of thanks for that meaningful 'speech' yeah..=)

It was indeed a memorable camp. Losing sleep and rest for 2 days was worth it. The meetings and tough times we had as the organiser, was truthfully paid off. New friends made and bonds btwn the old gets closer which is good. Hopefully, every single one of the probation councillors will be a certified one soon.

Till then, off to World Cup.


Fullstop at
2:26 AM

Sunday, July 02, 2006

ENGLAND lost...To think that I shed a tear for their loss..And to think that Dad was overjoyed that they actually loss. What the hacks..Everything was wasted. Despite the strong defence they had, their attack side was totally on the loose. Furthermore with Rooney being sent off and Beckham substituted, it was a flop. I gotta agree that Rooney ought to be sent off. He wasn't in his best form either. He lost control of the ball whenever he got it. Penalty time. I was already feeling nervous for them. Haha...Fanatic you may call..Another chance gone when the 3 couldn't get the ball in. Upon knowing that Ronaldo will be taking the last kick for Portugal, I knew it was the end for England. Hell yeah I was right. Dad was happily cheering for Portugal and jeering England. I could not react any further. Speechless..

On the other hand, I could not believe that Brazil lost to France. I expected them to win and be in the finals but it all turn around. Super devastated. However, it's fair now that England and Brazil are out..Fair to Dad and me..Haha...Now it's down to Germany, Italy, France and Portugal. All my faves are out. Maybe I'll be supporting either Germany or Portugal..Anxiously waiting for the semis and finals..


Anyway, it's the holidays!!! Though it's only for 3 pathetic weeks, it's still cool..Can wake up totally late without having to worry about school or warning letters...Heh..However, there are days whereby I gotta go back to school for some SC stuffs. Not forgetting netball trainings. It's a relief for me that trainings during the hols will be at ITE Tampines instead of our school. Super 'gerek' lah..Other than that, it's just gonna be work and more work. Talking about work, things are gonna change at work. Management's gonna be different. I'm so not liking it. There'll be a meeting at the end of the night later about the management thingy. I know who's going in and out..I don't want all those to happen but I have no right to do so. Hopefully I won't cry just like I did a few months back, upon knowing that Brother will be transferring out.

Nothing will ever be the same huh...


Fullstop at
2:50 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
March 2005
April 2005
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November 2005
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January 2006
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