Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Fasting month has been great so far...Am either breaking fast with dad and siblings or work mates...It's the same old again..Work and home. Been kinda shagged for the past few days due to long hours at work. Well, what more can I do besides working..Heh..Am not ready for the big day however. Haven't start to spring clean, haven't decide on what to wear or buy...There's just so much for me to do and it's not like I don't have time for it, but it's just that I don't want to spend the time doing it. All I do when I'm not working is sleeping in till evening, get online and watch tv. I don't even go out and spend time with friends or hang out at the malls nowadays.
Old mates suggested on breaking fast outside on the 13th in conjuction with some bdae celebrations. Same thing with the some of the SC mates, but on the 9th. Haven't decided on the venue and time and who's going yet. I don't bother much abt the 9th though. It's the one on the 13th that I'm thinking abt. I don't know if I should really present myself or not. Even though I yearn to see the OLD US again..The 8 of us that is. I'm sure it's gonna be wonderful with all of us back together, but it's tough for me. As much as I want to go, it's also that much I don't want to. Oh boy...
Anyway, dearest friend from the US called me the other day when he was in SG for transit. How exhilirated I was upon hearing from him. Was practically shouting on the phone with him. How I miss him. He'll be back here next May. Still long. It's irony on how I miss those overseas yet I don't miss the ones locally, though I haven't been meeting for ages.
Yat, the crappy partner is looking forward to school, which is so unbelievable!! Why? I asked her so. And she said she can't wait to see me. How touched!! =) Lols. Even though we spend almost every night online, you still miss me dearly huh...HAHA...How's results? Heh...I didn't even remember abt it till you mentioned. She's sooooo nervous abt it and was wondering how can I be so calm abt it. Seriously, results gonna be out on 4th, as said. I don't feel a thing. AT ALL. I'm not worried. I'm not nervous. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE. I SHOULD BE. I don't know why I don't feel anything about results. I'm not even thinking if my GPA were to fall, if I were to fail my modules.
Been feeling listless everyday. I can't find the cure yet. The reasons. Oh heck..The "CAN'T BE BOTHERED" attitude has already been instilled in me. Seriously, I seem to give up on certain things.
SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG WITH ME, SOMEWHERE.
There is a part of me
That feels I am different from everyone else.
Something that I can't quite see,Something that I can't quite feel
Something so unreal.But this 'thing' is always there,This 'thing' with others, I will never share.So I push it to the back of my mind,All the thoughts of boys and clothesAnd make-up, it is hiding behind.Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten,It comes back with such ferocity,Angry and unforgiving.I feel so lost and sad,Whatever caused this feelingMust have been so horrible and bad.A lost memory or something else,I'll never know,Whatever it is,I know for sure,I can never let this feeling show.
Fullstop at
1:30 AM
[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a
complicated future. Well, I guess that's how
life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.
Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=
BEST FRIEND