Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I've forgotten what I'm supposed to blog about but here's one on my mind. Didn't intend on attending the SC grad party for the Nitec Students at first, however, during sch hours, my few fave nitec people were like asking to go plus the rest from my lovable batch. Well then, I decided to go home and change even if it means getting back to sch later in the evening. However, things went a different way when I was called by my cousin saying that my granny is seriously sick. Was super shocked of course. Wasn't in a right state of mind at that point of time. Am just scared that the worst will happen.

Dad then fetched me at Bishan. Hurriedly went home, changed and got to my cousin's place. Simply cried upon seeing my granny's condition like that. She could not talk and she was behaving very awkwardly. It's like, it's not her at all. I was really really scared that time. I was already imagining things. Then, more weird things started to happen. My aunt's nephew from the other side then arrived and said some prayers. Which then caused my granny to suddenly fall flat on her bed. For a moment I thought that was the end. But Thank God, she's still alive. Everything seems to be ok. At least for now. I just hope that whatever was in her and whoever did that to her, will get it's ample retribution. Btw, I would like to apologize to those who were expecting me to be present for the party yesterday, for not being able to attend in the end. To Haziq, Liana, Syirah, Aini, Nana, Jannah, Faisal plus the organisers Shariman and Eunice, am deeply sorry about the whole thing. =(

Life's been fairly ok. School's a dread, as always. Attendance is simply atrocious. Tried motivating myself but it didn't turn out good. Will always end up in bed after the alarm sounds. Been missing out a lot on school modules. Projects and more of it coming. Date dues soon. Still, can't seem to bother much about it. Been having people nagging/scolding at me for not going to school. Can't seem to care much about SC stuffs either. Am simply not interested. I don't know why.

Yes, some may say that I'm not the same person as last time. I agree to that. I'm not the old NISA you people knew. What brought about the changes, you guys might wonder? Well, am not too sure myself. It's like I'm living this life hypocritically. Am a different person: in school, at work and at home. Each places has its own way of how I'm supposed to be. People knew me as a loud, cheery, bubbly and jovial girl. However, I'm now getting comments that I'm not talking much, no longer mingle around with people, rarely see me smile, what more laugh. People are asking what's wrong with me. I will just repeat the same thing; Nothing.

There's always a certain time whereby someone goes through a huge change in themselves, right? I guess this is mine.

Family wise. Things are beginning to portray differently. I sometimes feel left out even in my own family. Not that my siblings and dad don't share stuffs with me, it's another thing. Maybe I'm just being paranoid or over sensitive about it. Or maybe I'm just being selfish. Either way, I'm know that I'm not really feeling good accepting the whole thing. Am seriously vexed over it. It's gonna happen sooner or later, so why not now? I just want to get it over and done with. I just want to stop thinking about it again and again. It's really tiring. Urgh!!


Anyways, sister's getting her PSLE results tomorrow. Wonder how she'll fare. Time flies fast indeed. She's going into her teenage years soon enough. If only SHE was still here. Guess this is it.


Fullstop at
10:30 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
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