Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Sunday, December 31, 2006

So, been missing out on here a lot, haven't I..Anyway, SALAM AIDILADHA and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all. One more week left before school reopens. Dreadness coming back. Well, been spending almost every single day at work. From evening till 3 am in the morning. Never fail to hang around with the colleagues after work. Release boredom. No one's at home anyway. So I don't see the point in returning home early when I know I'll be alone, every night. Might as well I waste my time away with friends, even though we talk nonsensically sometimes. Work's been great as usual despite the fact that the orders were like water flowing, especially during the Christmas eve, Christmas itself, NYE and still to come. Tomorrow. New Year itself. Gotta be prepare for the 'battle'. Heh.


Ok now, totally different case. I still don't understand what is his motive. Being nice and mushy and all those goody-goody stuffs then being rude, harsh and acts like a freaking jerk at times. It's been a year yet I still couldn't manage to understand him. As in WHO/WHAT is the REAL HIM. I just find it hard to trust. Yes, no doubt I was jealous when I got to know that story from my brother. Boy, I was just as shocked. And I almost spilled the beans over to him, last night. And we almost fought. But things returned calm when he started to smile and laugh again. And I don't know what is fucking wrong with me when even after all the harsh/stupid words he spouted, even though it's meant as a joke, I will still apologize at the end of the day. That was what I did last night. And yes, true enough, I've been living a lie all these while. I didn't really mean what I said abt him. My good friend expected it already so there goes all the nagging and stuffs...It's hard indeed..But well, he's going to serve the nation next week. No doubt I'm gonna miss him damn much, but I guess it's for my own good too. Heh..



As for family wise, I guess that's it. I'm washing my hands off, with regards to that matter. Simply put, I'm giving up. I don't want to interfere anymore. I just don't understand nor know what's the freaking plan and what things are gonna be like. I've had enough of asking and helping..And yes, told Dad that it was super duper hard for me to accept the whole damn thing. It may be easy for my siblings but not for me. I merely spouted the truth cos I could hold on no longer. I'm tired of waiting abt what's gonna happen and stuffs..Very irritating lah..


Haven't been meeting up most of my regular friends due to shortness of time. Am really sorry abt that. Will make it up to you people as soon as possible. Hmms...What else...

Some people have been asking me what's my new year resolution. Frankly, I've none. And to me I don't think it's important. To each it's own, of course. Certain friends have like those simple yet tough ones. Like quit smoking/drinking/clubbing..Some is to get a license..And all other sorts of resolution. But as for yours truly, nahs...I just live the year as it is. All I care right now is to buck up on my freaking attendance and graduate in 2 months time. I wouldn't want to stay in that school for another year anymore, hence this is the time for me to improve..Haha..Like real..


I guess I'll be back some other time...Meanwhile, ENJOY YOUR 2007!!! =)


Fullstop at
11:55 PM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
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