Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Monday, May 21, 2007

Had a talk with a brother at work with regards to different issues. Experiences, Life, Relationships and Family. Was asking him when is his big day going to be, and well, it's going to be at the end of the year. I don't know why but I just have this mixed up feelings about it. Not that I have any special feelings towards him or what, I solely regard him as my brother and even called him by that. I feel happy but also kinda sad on the other hand.

It's like he is going to be someone's husband soon enough. And I can't really be as close to him like I am right now. No doubt I can still talk to him abt stuffs and all, but I can't always rely on him and burden him with my stuffs. It won't be appropriate anymore. Hmm.. Seems that the people that I'm close to, is slowly drifting away. Maybe only few will stay and be with me throughout my life journey, as qouted by a good friend. Nevertheless, I know they are the ones who I can depend on, be it rain or shine.

This brother, however, did taught me some things in life, which is useful. Even though at times, it's kinda stupid, some of what he said do make sense after all. Well, he has lived far more longer than me, to know what is right/wrong, good/bad for me. I will surely miss him after his marriage. Things won't be the same anymore, that's all I can say.

Looks like this house seems to belong to me only. As it seems that I'm the only permanent resident living here. Be it late at night or wee hours of morning,weekday or weekend, I will come back to this house, in the same condition which I left it, before I'm out to work. It's like as if I'm left to fend for me own. The family bond is somewhat, drifting again. They are on their own, and I'm on mine. Different lifestyles are what we lead. This is one of the reasons why I don't like to be home early. There's simply nothing to look forward to, except the same four walls.

It's just something, unexplainable.


Fullstop at
1:44 AM

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I'm feeling very lousy right now.... Not sure why.. But I guess it's cos the feelings are back, once again. I don't even know whether I want to have this feeling back or not.. I like it but I'm not sure if I REALLY WANT it... Whatever it is, the feeling of lousiness is there. It truly sucks.


Fullstop at
7:44 AM

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

And so I've been tagged.. By the greatest 2/4, Didy.. Thanks eh.. So here you go..
10 random habits, facts abt yourself.

Let's start it off by saying that I don't like to eat rice..No reason why but I just don't like it.. My fave thing to eat is however, cookies. Gimme oreos, chipsmore or other types of cookies, I will surely munch it within mins. Heh.. My fave one gotta be Famous Amos.

I won't be able to sleep peacefully without my Spongebob and Cookie Monster on my bed.

I can hold on for at least 2 days without sleep.

I love to read, be it, magazines, novels, papers..Pass it to me..I'll do the reading for you.

Am rarely at home. Either will be spending time at work, out with colleagues or just somewhere around. Most of the time will only be back once everyone's sound asleep or just about to start their day.

My current life is neither here nor there. No exact destination. I don't plan my day as towhat I'm gonna do today, where I'm going, who I'm gonna meet or what I'm gonna eat. I just do things if I feel like it.

Music. One impt thing to me.

I'm scared of wearing contacts. Ppl have been asking me to try them on. But well, ain't got the guts to. Haha..

Was told by some great mate that I'm cool for a human being. And that my specs looks funky..HAHAHA..Nonetheless, it's the first time that I've someone insane and creepy for a friend. A good friend at that..=)

Whenever I wake up, I won't straightaway have my bath, unless I'm going out. I'll usually wash my face and brush my teeth and then head to the tv, to watch cartoons. Fave one is of course, Spongebob Squarepants. Call me obsessed with him, I don't care.Anyone willing to bring me to the Spongebob event happening in June?? Haha..

So there it is. Is this considered weird didy? Heh.. At least I fulfilled it.. Haha... I don't know who to pass it on, but I surely know there's someone who's more than willing to do this, right Insane partner? Heh.. Enjoy ya.. =)


Fullstop at
9:33 PM

Monday, May 07, 2007

Haha.. Am currently on 3 days mc.. Been sick for the whole week last week, until I could hold no longer. All those late night coughs were seriously killing me. Thus, in the middle of the night which was ard 1 plus, called dad to bring me to the doc's. Unfortunately, no doctors were available around my area. Hence, he brought me to the hosp instead. There were so many people there and I had to wait for abt 2 hours before I could finally see the doctor. As usual, it's a throat infection, but this time round it got more worse, as I lost my voice. So been trying very hard to communicate with people around me including my siblings.

Went to workplace last evening to pass my mc. I could only smile and mouthed the word ''sorry" to my manager and one of the workmate, for the last minute notice. Then went off to interchange for a while to look for some stuffs and have dinner. Brought sister along and boy, it was indeed hard to tell her my intentions. I was straining my voice till I could no longer do it. And I took out my phone and texted what I wanted to tell her. That was indeed pathetic.

Celebrated her bdae on Saturday. She's turned 13. Bought her an ice-cream cake. Wasn't much of a celebration though. Was controlling my mood upon reaching there. I just don't understand why.. Sighs.. Well anyway, brother, sister and I had good time, having dinner. Haha.. It's just something which we haven't done for a long time. So yeah..

Watched Spiderman 3 at the Cathay with colleagues on Friday night. Was a pretty cool one. Am a bit touched at the ending. Go catch it if you haven't.. Haha.. Spent the night out and only got home when others are already awake. Had a sleepless night again as I crept to work barely an hour after I got home. Still have the energy though.

Guess I'll only be back to work on Wednesday. Oh yeah, pls try not to call me for these few days ya. Cos even if I answer, you won't be able to hear anything. So yeah, the best is to communicate via sms.. =)


Fullstop at
1:05 AM

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

It doesn't even matter anymore. Certain things are just too hard to handle, much less explain. Whether or not you're home, things don't seem to be of any difference. First, it was only one or 2 days of not talking or seeing each other. Now, it's becoming weeks. It's like as though there's no you anymore in my life. There's just nothing for me to look forward to at home, every single day, be it at night or morning. Most of the time, I'll be alone. Despite having siblings coming back at certain time of the day. Even them. They spend most of their time, over at the other place. So it doesn't matter as to what time I'll reach home or not coming home at all. It's like no one is interested in knowing where I'll be and so on. It's like I'm all alone, in this life. I wonder how long more will this carry on.

We no longer have that long, deep conversation. Even when you're at home, we rarely see each other. You're already sleeping by the time I reach home, or you'll lock yourself in your room. You'll be awake and gone when I just crept to bed. We seem to be drifting further apart. It's like we're becoming strangers. The bond between us ain't there anymore. Tough shit huh.. It's all a world of my own. I make my own decisions, I make my own rules. No doubt it's great, but there's a whole lot more than that. Sometimes, I sympathise with my own condition, but nevertheless, I know there's lots more who are even worse off. Oh well..

Am currently down with fever and bad sore throat. Have become an owl too. Body clock is all jumbled up. Things at work have been fairly good. No doubt there tend to be some scratches, but I guess that's how work life is. I just got to be patient and understand the other party as well. Gotta search for a rather proper job as well. It's time for me to get serious. Not that I'm not serious all along, but maybe more concentration in life. Have to set my priorities right. Gotta throw all those ridiculous feelings and get things straight instead. After all, what goes around comes around. That's what karma's all about. Shall not waste time because of one setback. It's not even worth it.


I will eventually get what's mine, someday. If God's willing.


Fullstop at
10:19 AM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
[A]rchives
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