Welcome to Chronocube design

"I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Kit McCallum

Sunday, July 29, 2007

It's over. Enough said. I just didn't expect things to happen way too soon, plus a bad turning point at that.

A nice beautiful bond, which ended just like that. And I doubt it'll ever recover
.


Fullstop at
10:40 PM

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Alhamdulilah, everything is fine. As in the results. I was just being paranoid abt that whole damn test thing. But it turns out nothing really serious. Or rather nothing at all. Haha.. However, am still wondering why it still occurs. Maybe it's beyond the scientific explanation.

Work's been fine except for the fact that I dreamt abt the bloody catering thing 2 days ago. Was really exhausted on that day till I brought to my dreams. Nevertheless, the catering's not going to be over till the 29th. Which is a few more days of exhaustion. Heh..

Other than that, I'm just trying to distance myself from a certain someone, but I just can't seem to do it. I have to start doing it now rather than later. Or the effect will be disastrous. Things are going to be damn different soon enough and I would want to face them now. Well, I just gotta see how things will go.


Independent. Freedom. Learn. Responsibility. Relaxed. Enjoy.


That's exactly what I am trying to do right now.


Fullstop at
2:25 PM

Thursday, July 12, 2007

It's getting worse... I thought it won't happen again, but I was wrong. It occurs again last week and up till now. I just want the blood test results to be out as soon as possible.. So that I know what actually is the problem and so that I won't have ridiculous thoughts. I may act fine, but deep down, I'm kinda worried. Well, hopefully, it's nothing too serious. HOPEFULLY.

Insyallah.


Fullstop at
12:42 AM

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

After listening intensely and understanding the significance of the song, I finally realised that I understood what the past was trying to tell me, 3 years back. Yes, I refused to believe and accept the whole damn truth and situation back then. Cos it happened suddenly. Without any reasons nor warnings, it just happened. The past then disappeared to nowhere. There was this particular day when the past asked me to listen to 2 songs. I thought it was just any other songs the past favoured and wanted to share with me. Boy, I was wrong. Little did I know that there was actually a hidden meaning towards the songs. I couldn't really capture it, at that point of time. But when things turned on a sour note, I began to reflect back.

Even so, I was still denying the actuality.I kept pondering on the mistakes done, whether there was one, or not. Pondering on why it happened. I did not manage to get the answers, up till now. The past was not being clear cut on it. The past just let it go, along with the wind. I battled through those past feelings and I gotta say it wasn't easy. However, I managed to get by and get a grip of myself. Thanks to the ones called FRIENDS. Plus my dearest cousin. All these people made me think twice about the past. They made me stand on my own 2 feet once again. And for that I'm very grateful.

Well, why did I even think of writing the first 2 paras? Haha.. Cos I was listening to those particular songs and that reminded me of the past. Heh..

Anyways,I almost lost myself at work last saturday. Not that it was the first time, but I guess I was just being very, or rather extremely lethargic. With the nonsensical stuffs I have to put up at work, plus the freaking orders and some unreasonable people, I almost gave up. Was feeling very vexed already. A good thing was that brother asked me to stop at 8 and rest. I was so darn happy. Haha.. But all is not over yet, so it seems. Heh.. I still have to endure with these kinda stuffs at work. Not that I hate working there, but sometimes it's just too much to handle. No doubt I have great people with me almost all the time, but these great people also sometimes make my blood go upstairs. Haha.. But I love them all the same. =)

It's JULY already. Yet no changes has been made. I don't know how long more it's gonna take. I've already made a pact to myself. IF all the changes which are supposed to made, is not yet ready by October, I shall take things on my own. Period. It's either here or there. So yeah, I've decided. I know it's wrong if I were to do that, but come on, I'm just sick and tired of these whole charade. If no one is going to make an effort in changing it, then let that someone be ME.


Fullstop at
1:17 AM

[P]rofiles
I never thought I would have a complicated future. Well, I guess that's how life works. Maybe HE has the best answer to it all.

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Khairunnisa
101087
Fickle-head
Hopeless
Vulnerable
Cookie Addict
Heavy Sleeper
Cookie Monster & Spongebob Fan
Huge Procrastinator
Dysfunctional mind
Gastrics=BEST FRIEND

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[E]xits
[Issac]
[Nazurah]
[1/4]
[Khairul]
[Fadzillah]
[2/4]
[Nana]
[Irza]
[Jannah]
[Kak Sally]
[Nana]
[Eddy]
[Hidayah]
[Fariza]
[Aini]
[Syasya]
[Deeyana]
[Yat]
[Muz]
[Syikin]
[Darn]
[T]agging




[C]redits
Design & Concept: ChronoCube
Base Codes: effloresce} & wishix
Font: dafont
Image: ChronoCube
Brushes: Ca-pris
Software Used: Photoshop CS 2 & Dreamweaver 8
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